Yes, you've often wanted to shove a sharp pole through some Elmer's guts or
otherwise wanted to keep pounding a rock into some Elmer's head untll he
stops being a frocking Elmer. It's normal. Everybody has
such desires from time to time. It's a healthy, normal response to the
aggrevation and the low quality of life that the Elmers among us inflict
upon us since we have to live among them. Biology instills in normal
humans a sense of self defense, after all, and at some point Elmer's antics
accumulate to the point where one wants to violently lash out. It's normal.
The question -- Is it wrong to kill Elmers -- is a question that nearly
everyone will immediately agree upon as yes, it is wrong to
kill Elmers. But the answer to the question isn't always that black and
white: while you should not be out there killing morons, that doesn't
mean you can't encourage them to do something fatally stupid
so that they take themselves out.
We here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site are abjectly against violence of
any kind, but most of us are totally okay with handing Elmers rope and
giving him instructions on how to hang himself with it.
Because of this, we offer some tips on how you might assist your local
Elmers into choosing interesting, violent, and amusing ways to kill
themselves so that you can remotely satisfy your natual, normal, and
healthy urge to gut the frocking bastards while leaving the actual gore
to the Elmers themselves.
But what we do suggest is maybe nudging Elmer along if he's already on
the way to taking himself out -- for the good of society. A lot of times
you'll find Elmers out there that are just inches away from doing something
fatally stupid -- like blowing the smoke or dirt out of the barrel of a
gun nut's gun after he's just shot up some rocks. That level of
stupidity should be encouraged. (After all, if the clown blows
his face off, at least nobody got hurt and it likely saved normal people's
lives.)
These suggested suicide methodologies may be dangerous and some of them may be illegal. We here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site don't know whether any of these things are legal or illegal, all we know is that they're potentially useful ways for Elmers to cancel themselves out so that they're no longer a problem for the rest of us.
If you're unsure about the legality or the fatality of these suggestions, we here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site strongly encourage you to telephone your local police, describe what you're reading, and ask your local police whether they think you should do this. Then follow your friendly police officer's advice, whatever that may be.
At the same time we assume no responsibility for anything stupid you might do either because you read it from some web site or dreamed up some stupid notion on your own. If you're incapable of reason and incapable of being responsible, you're an Elmer, not a normal person, and shouldn't be on this web site anyway.
Useful ways in which you can assist Elmer on his way to Hell:
Additional ideas will be added as they come in.
Have fun and don't do anything stupid. Unless you're an Elmer in which case you can't help but do stupid things in which case any admonishments you've received all through your Elmer life has been wasted anyway and it's only off the backs of the normal people you befoul that has allowed you to survive this long.
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