'Mad taggers' wage campaign in Marin against SUV's

Bumper stickers put on vehicles to send message to the owners Associated Press. Photos Associated Press

A pair of mischievous middle-aged men has been stalking through Marin's shopping mall parking lots - the habitat of the mighty sports utility vehicle - doing a little civil disobedience in hopes that their prey will become extinct.

For four months, Thomas Pane, who runs a deer -repellent business, and his co-hort, construction worker Charles Dines, have scampered all over Marin and the Bay Area, smoothing home-made bumper stickers onto hundreds of SUV's - the vehicle they love to hate.

The pair, who live in San Francisco, say they're tired of watching SUV's suck fuel at gas stations and flood rear-view-mirrors at night with blinding headlights. Mostly, the "mad-taggers" are tired of the SUV's impact on the environment. And now SUV owners are getting tired of their black and white bumper stickers, which exclaim: "I'm Changing the Climate! Ask Me How!"

Dines, who rides a BMW motorcycle, devised the idea after repeated chats with Lind about their shared scorn for SUV's. He likens it to the public pillories of old, where petty offenders were exposed to public shame.

"We look at the bumper sticker as a way to punish these people," explains Lind, who drives an old BMW. "They think their status trinket is more important than the environment we all share."

Judging from what happened during a recent hunt at a Corte Madera mall parking lot, SUV drivers certainly take offense to their antics.

A flurry of women used their cell phones to call police, and Lind and Dines were twice confronted by security and police officers.

"You don't know the facts!" one mother hissed as she pushed a baby stroller back and forth near her pristine Chevy Tahoe after they inadvertently tagged it a second time, breaking their own no repeat rule.

"There's no other car that has enough shoulder belts for booster seats and has cargo space," the woman told them. "I don't want my kids sitting 12 inches from the back of the car against the glass like in a minivan."

Dines and Lind, fresh from a confrontation with police in another section of the lot, looked uneasy but took a few minutes to pitch their case against SUV's before making their escape. Tagging cars with their removable stickers, it turns out, can amount to a vandalism misdemeanor.

"I understand your cause and everything," Twin Cities Police Officer Mark Reischel told them. "I just think that adhering this to a car would make people mad, I know it would make me mad."

Lind says the facts about SUV's make the risk worth it. Drivers bought 2.8 million SUV's in the United States though November of this year, about 17 percent of all vehicles sold. Sales are up 4.6 percent from last year, according to Ward's Automotive Reports.

The environmental Protection Agency says the average fuel economy in the SUV, van and pickup truck category is just over 18 mpg, compared with 23.6 mpg for cars. Some sport utility vehicles also have less stringent federal emissions standards since they are classified as heavy-duty trucks, which contributes to urban smog problems.

Carl Calvert, editor of the magazine Today's SUV, says he doesn't understand why the pair focuses on SUV's rather than all large pickup trucks. "There's always a certain faction that's going to be looking at the negative attributes of SUVs," Calvert said. "I think you can look at any automotive vehicle and see negative aspects."

The stickers also list a Web site, http://www.changingtheclimate.com, which gives advice on removing the stickers and invites targeted SUV owners to join in a spirited exchange of SUV philosophy.

We here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site love the idea. The phenomena of punishing SUV drivers by slapping stickers on Elmer's vehicles and by putting tickets on his windshields have without a doubt helped to make the sale of gas guzzlers less popular in the United States.

But we have a hell of a long way to remove Elmer's irresponsible vehicles from him entirely. The hard-core Elmers who need their SUVs because without them they'll have absolutely no penis left will never give them up.

So here are some cartoons:

Doonsbury's Daughter Ticketing SUVs -- 1
Doonsbury's Daughter Ticketing SUVs -- 2
Doonsbury's Daughter Ticketing SUVs -- 3
Doonsbury's Daughter Ticketing SUVs -- 4
Doonsbury's Daughter Ticketing SUVs -- 5
Doonsbury's Daughter Ticketing SUVs -- 6
SUV Elmers Funding Terrorists
Quiz1: Which vehicle driver has the faulty penis?