Mail Outbound #11: Trees, Assault Rifles, etc.

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Stop Elmer Fudd!

From: feedback@elmerfudd.usREMOVE
To: "cooter bob" <cooterbob97@...cuts...flr...>
Subject: Trees, Assault Rifles, etc..
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 12:14:56 -0600

> Hi,

Greetings, Scooter! I see you paid the electric bill instead of "invested" your welfare check on lottery tickets this month.

> I am a flaming Elmer and I enjoy reading your web site.
> I am extremly gratified (happy) that all the things I
> enjoy piss you off.

It's likely that you've been viewing some other web sites and have confused them with us good folks at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site.

No where on any of our web pages do we cover donkey screwing or dwarf tossing, leave alone express our annoyance at people like you who enjoy that kind of thing. Indeed, we here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site should probably encourage such behavior since it keeps Republicans from breeding a bit, I'm sure.

> Living in Texas, I do not have enough of you sandal wearing
> queers around to piss off, so I visit your site almost daily.

Hey! How the _Hell_ did you know I was wearing sandals?

In any event, I'm sure there are plenty of sandal wearing queers around where you live. Haven't you looked hard enough? Tom DeLay is from your area, after all, so they can't be _that_ rare.

And I'm sure John Gannon could please you -- if you can afford his $200 an hour price tag, Scooter!

> Because of you I take special joy in mowing down trees with my
> assault rifle and burning the brush with large amounts of diesel
> fuel as an accelerant.

Golly! I don't think we here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site can get behind such hobbies. Not with diesel fuel costing over two bucks a gallon, any way. And 30-06 ammunition is expensive, too.

Aren't you rightard Elmers supposed to be fiscally responsible?

> When I can't safely shoot my rifle, I push them down with my
> Ford Turbo diesel or use my trusty chainsaw.

Golly! Mother Nature will be rather upset with you.

> I live in the Texas hill country wich as a sandal wearing
> eco-queer, you may know as the natural habitat of the Golden
> Cheek Warbler (endangered).

Of course you do, Scooter. Half you Elmers live in the hills with routinely raped donkeys, and the other half live in cities with their always pregnant sisters. It's one of the main reasons why Elmers aren't endangered but higher life forms are.

> I honestly hope that the many trees I destroy will hasten
> (make happen sooner) it's inevitable (gonna happen for sure)
> extinction.

Well, that seems unlikely given the fact that you guys are going to wind up on the dinner plate pretty soon.

http://www.elmerfudd.us/repmeat1.htm
http://www.elmerfudd.us/repmeat2.htm

With proper seasoning (or maybe battered and deep fried) you guys will finally be able to contribute something meaningful to society.

And as for your Elmer women? We got plans. Fun plans:

http://www.rightard.org/

> As a matter of fact when I see one, I will shoot it
> with whatever un I have on hand.

Confident in the courageous knowledge that they can't shoot back, of course. One of the classical earmarks of a True Republican Elmer is the indiscriminate slaughter of people and animals who are unarmed.

'Course the minute their intended victims _do_ start shooting back, they label their victims "insurgents" and "terrorists."

Now I'm sure that if these Golden Cheek Warblers (endangered) acquire the assistance of someone like -- oh, I don't know, maybe the good people at Earth First! -- and arm these poor Golden Cheek Warblers (endangered) so they _can_ fight back, then we should see Elmers volunteering in numbers to be fertalizer for the trees.

> Thanks,
> Cooter

You're very welcome, Scooter. Say "Hello" to your sister-mom for me, please, and remember me to your litter of retarded Elmer children.

I hope you set aside some of your welfare check to pay your electric bill some time soon so you can get my email response.

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