"H2 Hummer" -- That's short for "I'm an asshole with a
2 inch dick and women won't let me touch them so I've got to play pretend
that I'm a powerful somebody and not really a loser some how."
And we've all seen these pathetic morons. Getting only 10 or 11 miles to
the gallon of gasoline, these morons are utterly happy to pay $60,000 for
the privilege of announcing to the world that they're morons.
In terms of excess and assholeness, H2 "Hummer" owners classify
as "Uber Elmers," the cream of the cream, the height of moronicy
that all other Elmers strive to achieve.
Here's a series of photographs showig what we've all seen out there in
the real world. We find that:
What's good about all this? There's a backlash growing across America
which results in peolpe setting fire to the things -- which is also stupid
in itself -- but there's also a world-wide spontaneous outpooring of
normal people giving the Elmers who drive these things the old middle
finger to let them know what real people thing of them.
http://www.fuh2.com/ Here's a link for a web site that looks at the
phenomena of people "giving the bird" to these Elmers. It's a
growing national phenomena -- one that you can take part in!
We here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site spend much of our time on our
bikes, both in the mountains of Southern California and in towns. And
it's always amusing to see normal every-day people lean out their cars
and give "Hummer" drivers the finger.
We've seen pedestrians in cross walks give these Elmers the finger as
they walk past and the Elmer just has to sit there and take it.
http://www.fuh2.com/submissions.php Here's a link to an endless series
of photographs of people giving these Elmers the finger -- though most of
them appear to be people sitting inside their own cars where the Elmers
won't see it and thus benefit from the feedback.
But it's difficult to get photographs of other people giving these morons
the finger though that may change: With the growth of the phenomena, maybe
people with digital cameras will start to get their cameras ready to take
pictures of others giving Elmers the finger.
As mentioned elsewhere on the Stop Elmer Fudd web site, there's also the
growing phenomena of normal people putting "traffic tickets" on
the windshields of Elmers' SUVs and other irresponsible vehicles.
Additionally there's thr growing phenomena of normal people slapping
bumper stickers on Elmer's vehicles with sayings such as "I've got
a 2 inch penis" and other amusing -- though accurate -- mottos.
This is so much better than setting fire to them. It's very
doubtful thart the Elmers who drive these things will ever try to sell
them or allow the bank to repossess them because of the massive lashback,
but it's something we all can do to let them know they're asshole morons
who are as unloved now as they were before they bought their surrogare
penis.
Probably putting tickets on their windshield to let them know they're
assholes is the best idea, with putting bumper stickers on the front and
back of their excessive vehicles being the next best idea.
But giving these morons the finger is something they'll see every day
they drive the damn thing; something they can't rip up and throw away;
something they can't scrape off their surrogate penis and pretend they
can ignore it.
You'll notice in these photographs, by the way, the fact that the Elmer's
surrogate penis will fit just fine in one parking space and
that the Elmer has no legitimate reason to take up two parking spaces.
The reason why these Elmers take up more than one parking space is because
they want normal people to notice their surrogate penis; they want them
to stand out -- literally as well as figuratively.
When you find an H2 "Uber Elmer" parked correctly, it means
you've found an Elmer who couldn't find two or more empty parking spaces.
Given a choice, they'll always park dysfunctionally to try to make normal
people notice their surrogate penis, usually telling themselves that they
need to be an asshole because their surrogate penis won't fit in a
single parking space.
Yet as we see in this series of photographs, there's no legitimate
excuse that Elmer can offer for being an asshole.
Currently there are about 100,000 of these stupid things on America's
highways threatening our lives.
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