Rev. Lee Austin
So I was just down at the gas station, filling up the ol' shit wagon,
waiting to feed the money island. You know, the things where you key in
which pump you're on, feed it your money/card and then go pump dead
dinosaurs into your vehicle.
Anyways, when I approached the island, there were two soccer moms ahead
of me who were having some bullshit meaningless conversation like
soccer moms will do at gas pumps.
I overhear them, and the topic of their conversation is the high gas
prices. The lady who was feeding the machine bills, commented on the
other lady's SUV she was driving. Some uselessly large, ugly-ass, Ford
Expidition or some shit.
So they're inanely chattering away, and I hear the SUV driver comment
that it takes her $60 to fill up her monstrosity. She quickly and
proudly states "But I love it so much!" and casts me a
glance and a smile, expecting me to agree with her or some shit.
I shrug my shoulders and give a smirk, as if to say "Yeah,
well, you did it to yourself, what the fuck do I care?" not really
wanting to engage in conversation.
So the bill feeding lady finishes her transaction, and the SUV lady
steps up, starts keying in her pump number, and runs her card through
the machine. The machine comes back with a prompt telling her that
there will be a $0.35 fee to use a debit card.
She looks over her shoulder at me, and says "I hate that! Don't
you think it's ridiculous that they have a fee with gas prices being so
high?" So I reply, "I think it's fucking ludicrous that you
have no issues at all paying $60 to fill up that thing (pointing
to her SUV), and yet have the gall to bitch about a $0.35 fee which
isn't related to the price of gas at all."
She shot me a half-assed dirty look that wouldn't even make a puppy
flinch, turned her nose up, and went off to feed her urban assault
vehicle. More preciesly, she shut the fuck up and walked away from me.
Who said being a dick isn't productive?
--
Pinks, step up to the pump
16 Jul 2005
Rev. Lee Austin
Church of the Subgenius :
http://www.subgenius.com
Return to the Elmer Fudd web site's main page E-Mail Stop Elmer Fudd with your comments