Elmer Fudd sure does loves his gas hog surrogate penis. Why?

Stop Elmer Fudd!

More and more people are setting fire to Elmer's SUVs and other gas hog vehicles, all around the United States. There are many reasons why people -- normal, average, every-day people as well as environmentalist extremists -- are setting fire to Elmer's irresponsible vehicles. The Stop Elmer Fudd web site discusses the phenomena in other web pages so the subject won't be looked into here.

The fact is relevant on this web page because when someone destroys Elmer's surrogate penis, one is destroying a large part of Elmer Fudd, eliminating a large part of what he is and what he does -- which is a good thing even if the authors of the Stop Elmer Fudd web site may not agree with this particular (setting Elmer's penis on fire) public service.

Why does Elmer Fudd love his pickups, his Sport Utility Vehicles (SUVs) and his H2 "Hummers" so much? What many normal Americans want to know is what the fascination is; why does Elmer absolutely have to drive these things to survive?

Sigmund Freud or other medical doctors tyhat delve into the dysfunctional human brain could probably address the issues in more exacting and greater detail than we'll address here, however he's some of the answers:

Television advertising. A lot of what makes Elmer Fudds purchase SUVs, large pickup trucks, and "Hummers" is the advertisments that Elmers are subjected to. Advertisments for irresponsible vehicles always depict the same myths which Elmer believes without thought or question. Some of the more salient myths are:

Driving these is something manly, something that only "real men" are capable of driving. As such your male sexuality is safeguarded and ensured; more: other males will not question your sexuality.
Women who see males driving these vehicles are sexually aroused to the point where they simply just can't keep their hands off of them; to the point where any women they want will be putty in their hands and they're sure they'll eventually be copulating wildly if only the women would notice them. (Fear of rejection is also alleviated by belief in the advertisements that are shown to the Elmers types who purchase these things.)
Once you purchase one of these irresponsible gas hogs, you'll never be stuck in city traffic ever again and will, in fact, find yourself having more time to take to the hills, the forests, and the desert in uncrowded paved (and thus safe) comfort while at the same time -- because you'll leave the city in your new gas hog -- you're still manly even though you know you'll be safe ot in the "wilderness."
And part of the "get away from it all" myth, even if you leave the dirt and paved roads, your new gas hog will have enough power to get your vehicle unstuck from mud, rocks, and everything else that Nature -- the Nature you'll soon be subjecating and destroying because you're Finally A Real Man -- throws at you. Because of it, you'll be safe in your irresponsible vehicle.

All of Elmer's buddies drive irresponsible gas hogs. And if you're not driving a manly vehicle, you're not manly enough for your friends.

So most of it has to do with advertising. Normal people will purchase pickup trucks, of course, because they're needed to perform real work, and pickups can get one safely in and out of difficult to reach places.

And on rare occasion normal people might purchase an SUV -- power line maintenance people, for instance, or safety inspectors who need to access remote areas in marginal safety and comfort while at the same time need to carry with them enough tools and spare parts to get jobs done. But in actual fact there are few legitimate reasons for anyone to drive SUVs, and certainly there are no valid or legitimate reasons for people to drive so-called "Hummers!"

Ha ha! Burn, penis, burn! Here's a "Hummer" that is no longer wasting gasoline and is no longer emitting toxic wastes. But even more importantly, the Elmer that used to drive this gas hog is no longer out there constituting a health and safety hazard.

One down! Half a million more to go!

The problem with setting fire to Elmer's irresponsible vehicles is that doing so -- while against the law -- releases a huge amount of pollution. Over the life span of these vehicles -- five years or so -- the amount of pollution and other toxic wastes that they produce may very well be less than what's released by setting fire to Elmer's surrogate penis, but there's always the chance -- the hope -- that Elmer will wipe out in his SUV or his "Hummer" and that he'll take his offspring (Elmer Spawn) with him. (True, he'll probably take out innocent lives with him but Hell, give the moron a chance, I say! Maybe he'll take out a fellow Elmer!)

Also setting fire to Elmer's surrogate penis can cause unexpected and undesirable consequences: if done unsafely, forest fires or grass fires can destroy innocent people's properties and may kill people.

The recommendation at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site, then, is to consider arson to be a suspect solution to chopping off Elmer's surrogate organs -- more so when decommissioning the the vehicle's engine and other methodologies are safer and don't have even the remote possibility of hurting anyone.

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