There are many other reasons and excuses that Elmers use to try to claim they must park abnormally however these are the most salient of the excuses that Elmers have been known to use.

And ironically parking by backing into a parking lot makes it that much more easier for tow trucks to hook them up and cart them off to the local police impound center when parking enforcement comes along and spots one of these Elmers taking up more than one space.

Here we have a typical Elmer -- actually three of them -- on a typical day in a typical small town parking lot. You see them all over America, hogging parking spaces and just making you itch wanting to set fire to the thing. (And you know it's wrong, wrong, wrong to do so and -- like the law-abiding people here at the Stop Elmer Fudd web site -- would never think of actually burning Elmer's surrogate penis.)

You'll notice in this photograph a phenomena that you've seen elsewhere, anywhere Elmer can't park. Specifically you'll notice that one Elmer trying to show off his penis as something special draws all the other Elmers in the area to do likewise.

This is an important mental aspect about Elmers and it bears special attention.

What we're seeing here is an Elmer that dysfunctionally parked for one or more of the reasons and excuses enumerated above. Other Elmers in the area that see this follow suit and the reasons they do this are not all that numerous. The reasons that Secondary Elmer Behavior (SEB) ensues is typically:

• Secondary Elmers want to "punish" the Primary Elmer by "devalueing" the Preimar Elmer's surrogate penis. He does this by parking along side the Primary Elmer's penis in a like way to show the Primary Elmer that his penis isn't special; that he's not the sole outlaw bad boy he thinks he is. That other outlaws can do likewise.

• Like mutual masturbation among males, parking dysfunctionally along side another Elmer's surrogate penis is a way to show the other Elmers that he's not alone; that while the rest of the world hates them, Secondary Elmers want other Elmers in the area to know that they are not alone.

At the same time and in the same parking lot, there's another phenomena that can be seen as evidenced by this photograph.

Here we have what's known as a "Solitary Elmer." Solitaries are Elmers who:

• Have yet to draw Secondary Elmers,

• Have seen an existing clumping of Secondaries in the parking lot and has elected not to join them, or

• Elected not to join the Secondaries, perfering to park dysfunctionally in a spot of shade.

In this particular case -- as you can see from the shadows in the two photographs provided -- we're looking at two photographs that were taken within minutes of each other in the same parking log, seporated by approximately 100 feet or so.

There's no way to tell what this Solitary Elmer was thinking; why he's a Solitary. Not without asking and even then almost all Elmers will look at you with total lack of comprehension about what you just asked.

It's also important to note that Solitary Elmers can be elevated to Primary Elmers easily. It's also important to note that there's no set methodology to the way Elmers park: one day a Solitary may decide to clump with an existing Primary, or may decide to join an existing clump. Motivations and dysfunctional parking behavior changes from day to day, with the weather, or for no discernable reason whatsoever.