You might have thought that being a rightard Elmer Fudd moron was all bad. Obviously it's an endless nightmare for everyone else who has to live among them, but surprisingly there are some positive benefits of being an Elmer.

• Nobody will ever kill you for knowing too much.

• You get lots of vacations from your fast food "manufacturing" job because defense lawyers love you idiots for jury duty.

• Massive head trama will never result in brain injury.

• Sheep can't tell you "No."

• If you have a pet, brother, or sister that runs slower than you, you can always have sex when you want it.

• To escape from paying child support, all you have to do is put the tires back on your house and drive away.

• Beer, cigarets, and crack cocaine is a good weight loss diet.

• George W. Bush is proof that some day even you can become President thanks to Diebold.

• You have your very own "news" network created just for you which makes sure you always see nothing but good news happening around the world. You also get to see that the rest of the world really loves Americans and everything America stands for in the world.

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