I spent the night up in the hills just under Cogswell Dam, trying
to pray for a precision type earthquake and, it being SUMMER once
again, I got another seasonal look at the fucking Elmers among us
once again.
This year Elmer is sporting the usual gas hogging pickup trucks
that get 10 or 11 miles to the gallon on good days on flat, even
paced roads, only there's a new phenomena I didn't see last year
that's been added to these fucking Elmers' surrogate penis.
Air conditioning.
Good fucking grief.
Here in Southern California we're edging upward of $3 a gallon for
gas and these huge surrogate Republidiot penis enhancers get _maybe_
10 or 11 miles to the gallon, and even less when they leave the
road and still less when the fucking morons put snow tires or clown
tires on them -- as most of the Elmers do.
This year, however, I sat atop my bicycle on the rocks not 30 feet
from Elmer as he entered the San Gabriel Off Road Vehicle play pen
for Elmers along the mighty San Gabriel River, and I saw each and
every one of these Elmers (those with enclosed cabs) with tinted
windows tightly rolled up, it being over 90 degrees at the time I
sat there chugging water so I could refill my canteen from the river
just above where these Elmers start polluting it.
Air conditioned Elmers this year. Good fucking grief.
There's nothing for them to do there except drive back and forth in
their F150's over the river that's about 6 inches deep and about 30
feet wide with a flat rock bottom. And that's what they do: They
drive their pickups back and forth slowly forging the mighty river,
subdueing Mother Nature, pitting Man against Nature and -- being so
manly in their bright shiney new penis -- they're just the Man to
win in the epic battle.
And they do it in air conditioned comfort, braving the wilds,
radios turned up all the way, cans of COORS propped up in their
crotches covered with hats so the Freddies dont' catch them
drinking alcohol as always.
Here rightard terrorists invaded an innocent country and has
slaughtered over 100,000 innocent people, half of them children under
the age of 18, all so that fucking Elmers like these can plod back
and forth in water that doesn't even come up to the bottom of their
hubcaps in air conditioned comfort while pretending they're on some
fucking safari.
And they _do_ think they're on safaris. Look at the names of the
pickups they drive and it's, "Expedition" and "Ranger"
and "Explorer" and "Yukon" or "Excursion..."
as if they're Artic explorers far out on the Ross Ice Shelf braving
dangers and findthing themselves man enough to meet the challenge.
<heh> I sat there chugging water highly amused. After filling my
canteen, I biked over to talk with Freddie about Elmers in general
and we traded stories about what the both of us has seen up there,
with polluters and people starting fires and drunken rightards
forcing normal people's cars off the road and into the canyons...
Now I hear that Freddie is going to open the road all the way up to
Crystal Lake next month, something that none of the Freddies want
since that means another 5 miles of used diapers, spray paint,
trash dumped along the side of the highway, and fires that have to
be put out every frocking week at great expense.
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